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| Ok, this took me forevr to write, since i was dealing with a major dose of writers block. I don't know whether this is any good, but i like it. So, evern if this entry is just for me, then so be it. i hope you like it.
Entry 6
[i:7caf17b303]Boston’s kinda OK. As OK as it can be when I know that she’s only 10 minutes away now. Mel keeps asking where I am. I tell her I’m right there with her, but even she notices that I spend a hell of a lot of time sailing True Love. Most of the time I mess around. I become the clown, the buffoon that I was in freshman year. Mostly I just mess around with Melanie, keeping it fun. Haha. I remember today, we had a fight over a Polaroid. I looked into her eyes and I thought, that maybe just maybe I could survive without Joey. Then in a flash the moment passed and I missed her more than ever…[/i:7caf17b303]
And I am definitely keeping this one.
Oh, Pacey. No.
What? Am I not allowed to keep a souvenir of my travels?
Not, this one.
You know I love the French. They come down to the Caribbean’s, the colonize the islands, they destroy the indigenous cultures, and what do they replace them with? Topless beaches. The British would have never ever thought of that. And I’m keeping this one. [i:7caf17b303]Yes, I said topless. What? I’m a guy. Guys have impulses. Just because she looks hot naked doesn’t mean I’m gonna get serious. And no matter how gorgeous she is, she’ll never have those melted chocolate eyes, that soft skin and those sensuous lips… but back to Melanie. A kiss and she’s happy. I wonder if she thinks we’re serious? [/i:7caf17b303]
Fine, you win. Just don’t leave it anywhere my uncle can see it. [i:7caf17b303] I’m not that dumb. Am I? Maybe I am, if my behaviour a la the past 3 months is anything to go by [/i:7caf17b303]
Don’t worry about it. You see, this is no longer his boat, it’s mine.
Oh, right. I forgot. Oh, I’ve got to go.
No.
Are you going to meet me later at the…
Yes. I will, but only under protest.
Oh, so I want to have another meal with you besides breakfast. And wear the new shirt I bought you.
Yes mam. [i:7caf17b303] Jeez, I don’t remember any of the girls back in Capeside being this pushy…Well, except maybe Christy, Abby, Jen and Andie… but you know what I mean. I mean the Capeside girls that I think about. The Capeside girl I can’t STOP thinking about. I kissed Mel again. Her kisses taste sweet, far too sweet. I always liked the sweet and the sour, the fire in my stomach… I guess it’s something I won’t be experiencing again for a while [/i:7caf17b303]
So…that must be the famous Melanie. [i:7caf17b303] Doug, for some strange un-hetero reason, finds my relationship with Mel fascinating. He honestly doesn’t believe I can have a relationship with no strings attached. [/i:7caf17b303]
Yes indeed. Melanie Shay Thompson. Let me ask you this, Dougie. Why is it, that Rich people always have three names?
Oh, I don’t know. I guess the more people you are named after, the more wills you could potentially appear in. What the hell are you planning on doing with your life, Pace? [i:7caf17b303]Great. I hate it when Doug starts off on another of his fatherly lectures. Although, Doug is much more welcome than my real father. I love my dad and all, but I have to say I prefer my ma. She may not stick up for me, and she may not pour on the love like Gail always did but she’s a pretty good woman. And she raised me well. I have to admit that. Joey always told me that, so I never forgot it or failed to acknowledge it. Unfortunately, my childhood was slightly lacking on the fatherly side. I tend to really not like being lectured by Doug. It’s just a really huge reminder of what I missed.[/i:7caf17b303]
Dougie, come on. Does this conversation ever get more interesting for you? Cause it doesn’t ever get any more interesting for me.
Well, it’s been, what, three or four weeks, since you got back from the Caribbean.
It’s been three and a half weeks. Why is the tan starting to fade?
Are you planning on staying in Boston? [i:7caf17b303] See? He pretends to understand, but when the big questions come in, he has no idea of what my answer will be or why. Of course I’m staying in Boston. When you love someone, proximity is a good thing, regardless of how they feel about you, and regardless of whether it means you’re actually going to see them. In my case, I can’t see her. I can’t tell her I’m here. Not yet, because I know that when I see her, all of the resolutions I made will go straight out of the window. And I’ll have to tell her about Melanie. But am I staying in Boston? Hell yeah. Whatever it takes. But am I telling Dougie that? Noooo way, Jose. He’ll just tell me to start living life for myself.[/i:7caf17b303]
Just until the next gigantic yacht needs another deck hand.
So, this whole waiting on the rich thing, is going to be a permanent part of your life? Is that it?
No, Dougie, nothing is permanent. [i:7caf17b303] Not true. My love for her is permanent. And while she’s here, I’ll be anchored here. Physically and metaphorically.[/i:7caf17b303]
Good. Then here I’ve got something for you.
What’s this?
A guy I know in Boston. A chef.
Doug, I told you. I’m not getting a job in some stupid restaurant, or folding shirts or selling shoes. I am on to something bigger and better here, and it is only a matter of time before I get back out there.
Oh, yes, the sea. I forgot. And here I am without my Old Spice. Look just go see this guy, Pacey? Ok, And do it today. I told him that you were going to come by, and see him. So, please just this once, will do me this favour. Please?
Ok, ok, look, if I go see this guy, will you get off my case? [i:7caf17b303] I don’t tell him that I’ve already been thinking about this, since he last mentioned Danny Brecker’s restaurant.[/i:7caf17b303]
Nothing would make me happier, little brother [i:7caf17b303] That did it. Knowing I could make somebody happy. I couldn’t make Joey happy after our relationship hit a brick wall (otherwise known as The Day Joey Lied To Dawson, or maybe even The Day Pacey Lied About The Camping Trip).
So anyway, I went to see Brecker at his little restaurant. I step through the door, and the guy makes me try RABBIT. He told me I could start as the new dishwasher. Can you imagine ME washing dishes? Not trying to sound above myself here, but Pacey Witter is not going to be a dishwasher. When I was sailing around on True Love with Joey I learnt to prepare fish. Cooking was the one thing I could do which took me away from the looming prospect of home, and more importantly, Dawson Leery. Now, when I cook, I’m reminded of the smell of fish cooking, and the feel of her putting her arms around my waist after a day of doing odd jobs. It’s good for me, you know? I’m doing something useful, while coming to terms with the fact that I’m now cooking for one.
But back to what I was saying, I’m not going to work there. Not as a dishwasher. I just gotta find someway of convincing Brecker to let me cook. That’s all I want. That and Joey Potter. All things considered, right now I’m just going to work on the cooking. I’ll cook anything but fish. I’ve had enough fish to last me a lifetime. Chilli sounds good. Real hot, preferably. Then maybe the butterflies will come back to my stomach. Not the real thing, but close enough. I never planned on losing the butterflies. Unfortunately, I think I left them back in Capeside. They’re probably on their way to Worthington by now, since I know she’s already there. I just hope she’s there alone, and he hasn’t come for her yet. Maybe if she finds out I’m here, she’ll remember the butterflies. Maybe she’ll brush that silky hair behind her soft ears with those delicate hands, and smile to herself as she remembers the time we went snail hunting, and I tried to kiss her. Maybe one day we’ll pass in the street, and smile, and forgive, Then I can move on. But I cannot speak to her,; I’m too scared to do that. Well, maybe scared isn’t the word. Don’t you ever get tired of talking? [/i:7caf17b303] |
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